What would happen if We the People simply minded our own damn business regarding the politics of gays in the military and in our society as a whole?
This is an issue that I have not weighed in on previously via this blog because I have nothing new to add to the discussion. The name of this blog really says it all for me. I try to mind my own damn business and therefore the sexual orientation of consenting adults is not my concern. I just don’t care. However, I have received a number of questions recently as the issue of gays in the military has become hot. Further, I predicted in a couple of recent columns that Republicans would respond to the Democrat’s win on healthcare by instituting a new round of attacks on gay marriage. Therefore, I need to state my views. So here it goes.
Folks, I know what the Bible says and I believe in God. I also believe that God has the situation with gays under control. God would not have brought our Founding Fathers together if he did not believe that We the People were ready for the challenges of liberty and independence, and that liberty and independence includes facing up to God for our own actions in life. Same for gays and their relationship with God. I’ll not assume that I have the ability or the right to interfere with others and their God.
I have heard all the arguments about defending traditional marriage, but I don’t know what that means. Why should the relationship of two consenting adults affect my marriage, or yours? Why should I care what others do in the privacy of their personal lives? Why should you care? Further, we live in a culture that idolizes (as in, thou shall not worship idols) entertainers and athletes, despite their marriages that work more like high school sweethearts going steady than true marriages; get bored, have affairs, get counseling and/or get divorced; no big deal. Does that affect traditional marriage? I think it does because it sets an example for our children that marriage is something less than a commitment for life. So maybe we should focus on outlawing marriage for entertainers and athletes before focusing on gays.
I understand the concerns about gay couples raising children and I admit that I share some of those concerns. I also admit that my concerns may be more a result of my biases than legitimate issues. Children are brought about by the union of man and woman and I think that whenever possible they should be raised within that union. That is not always possible.
So let’s start with gay adoption. Do you deny children that are otherwise destined to a life in the state’s care the right to a loving home? What evidence is there that a gay couple will provide an inferior family structure to state care? When it comes to gays adopting children that have the option of going to a traditional home, and gays opting for surrogates to bear their child, the issue gets complicated. Nature obviously did not intend for gay couples to bear children, but does that mean they are ill equipped to raise children? On this, I don’t know and I have concerns. I believe it is a subject for rational study and debate but we seem to argue without facts instead of holding intelligent discussion. I will offer this point to the discussion; we the straight parents of the world are certainly doing a lousy job of raising children. Doubt me? See crime, war, genocide, famine, racism, anti-Semitism; this list could go on for pages. Do you really think gays are going to do any worse? I leave the subject of gay parenting un-decided and hope that We the People address the issue with data and facts as opposed to innuendo.
This leads to the question of how would I feel about having gays in my neighborhood and therefore, around my children? How would I explain their relationship to my children? Answers: I know of no reason to worry about gay people around my children anymore than I should worry about any other person around my children; which in this day and age means, be careful about everybody. As for how I explain to my children that the kid next door has two mommies or two daddies? That is easy. I answer their question by explaining that, “they are gay. Now mind your own business.”
Now, about gays in the military. Gays in the military used to bother me because I worried about esprit de corps. I saw so many people in the military that enjoyed the image of the tough guy and I worried that these military people would not see themselves in that way if gays allowed to serve. I thought the result would be bad for the military.
As I have gotten to know more military people I have come to believe that military people, these men and women, are in fact so tough, so professional, so confident, and so justifiably proud, that I know they could handle allowing gays and would quickly adjust when they saw gays performing their duties as professional soldiers.
After reading through what I have written above; I realized that I do have something new to add to the conversation after all. The ArmyTimes reports that, “The Marine Corps’ commandant said he will not force his troops to sleep in the same quarters with gays on base and would give them separate rooms if Congress votes to allow openly gay service.” General James Conway said. “I would not ask our Marines to live with someone who is homosexual if we can possibly avoid it.”
I don’t see anything wrong with Conway’s position. In fact, it seems to me to be the respectable and logical move for all concerned. If you truly adopt the Mind Your Own Damn Business view, then the role of gays in society is no more and no less than that of everyone else. Sleeping quarters for the military are defined by gender due to respect for the individual’s privacy and sexual concerns, so it shouldn’t be any different with gays. And most important, this should not be seen as any slight to gays in the military any more than it is not a slight to place women in separate sleeping quarters from men. When you Mind Your Own Damn Business, you don’t stigmatize, and therefore, separate sleeping quarters are nothing more nor nothing less than common sense and common courtesy to all parties, gays included.
There you have it folks. The Mind Your Own Damn Business Politics view of gays in society and the military. The comment section is below. Have at me.
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There is a large body of scientific study on the parenting of gay and lesbian couples that finds they are no worse than straight couples. I’m sure there are limitations to the studies, but the battle so far is a religious and political one, so I don’t know of any criticims of the conclusions, which have been endorsed by the American Psychological Association, American Counseling Association and others, on scientific grounds. As for the religious objections, I’ve always wondered why people who are anti-gay don’t necessarily keep kosher or do ritual sacrifice, because the prohibitions against gay sex are in the same sections of the bible as these laws that are no longer, or seldom kept even by the most religious (and there aren’t any statements about lesbian sex at all).
I agree that gay people should be allowed to marry or adopt. How cruel is it to argue that a child is more fortunate in state care? I have difficulty understanding Conway’s position on sleeping quarters. Is it not a bunk style, with several soldiers? I presume that they would not be having sex under this arrangement? I don’t understand why the military would even think they need to separate gay and straight men or straight and lesbian women.